disneyprincest:

i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again 

stripforharry:

soolooxcoopter:

obesealpaca:

When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know

Those fries could be salted with tears

So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through

there are two kinds of people

sir-pyllero:

hankler-fish:

blainestorm:

ckweek:

squidkneee:

phlynn:

summer bloggin

happened to fast

summer bloggin

had me a blast

I met a friend crazy for me

Met a blog, cute as can be

tumblr days, drifted away

but oohh-oh those tumblr nights

TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE,

LIKE DID YOU GET AN ASK!?

tell me more tell me more

did you reblog that ass

jadeshipsziam:

xxscreammyheadoffxx:

 Maybe if period pain burned calories it would be worth it

it does. it burns around 200-300 calories.

Than how come im still fat as a cow ???

phriend:

Before Tumblr i thought blogging was something 30 year old single mothers did. Discussing recipes and parenting techniques

pauloferreiraa:

skittle-happy-matt:

loki-princeofcats:

lusilly:

At first I was like

“oh hot reservoir
this is my jelly”

and it didn’t make sense

but then it did 

I laughed ten seconds straight before reblogging this.

omfg

j4vh:

cenedict—bumberbatch:

Jokes on you; they end up burned on the ceiling.

lookslikeajobforthewinchesters:

shurichan:

lolzpicx:

is that comic sans

Twilight deserves an eternity of comic sans